Hello, my boy. How are you? I hope everything is well and if not, I hope things will get better. They always do.
I took the time to write down my thoughts on certain topics that you may find someday be of interest or encounter in the future. Rest assured that my mind is clear and devoid of any prejudice as of the moment of writing. I want to pass this wisdom I have acquired over years of existence onto you in case the opportunity to talk, for whatever reason, does not present itself. Without further ado…
Letter 1: On Women
This may be one of the most difficult topics to discuss, and yet perhaps one of the most essential of them all. Now, during the course of this letter, allow me to be clear of the context of the terms I will be using. “Woman” or “women” shall refer to anyone and everyone of the female gender. “Man” or “men” will refer to anyone and everyone of the male gender. “Lady” shall refer to a kind of woman of which I will be discussing during the latter part of this letter.
Let me start by saying that “a woman is no less than a man, and a man no less than a woman.” Growing up, you may hear about gender biases between who is better than who and I assure you that both are equally important. There are stereotypes that the world has created which built an illusion of limitation of each gender. Gender has never been a factor for the capabilities of an individual. Period.
Growing up, it is a certainty you will encounter many kinds of women. Some will become your friends, some will become your lovers and perhaps make yourself a few adversaries along the way and all of these are fine. I just want you to know that whatever they may do, you must not forget one important thing: Respect.
Even as of this time this piece has been written, a large population of men still see women as a sexual commodity. Son, spare yourself the indignity of becoming one of these degenerates. Here are a list of few things you must never forget when dealing with “WOMEN” :
- When talking or looking at a woman, never stare at anything below her neck. You can glance, no more than once, but never ever stare.
- Keep your elbows close to yourself and away from her breasts. This is none negotiable, my boy.
- When initiating physical contact (a simple touch, hug, kiss, hold, etc) , always ask for her permission. If she says no, then do not and never insist. If she says yes, limit yourself only to the action that was permitted.
- Never hit a woman. An exception to this rule would be if she becomes an imminent threat of posing serious physical harm to you. (Self-defense will be in another letter I will be talking to you about.)
- Keep your conversations casual and wholesome. The only time you can go beyond that is if she initiates the discussion. And if she does and you want to, tread lightly. If she does and you don’t want to, make a move to steer the conversation away from such topics without offending her.
My father use to say that there are a lot of women in the world. What he didn’t tell me is that when looking for a lifelong partner, a man must look for not just a woman but someone of a higher status… A Lady. So I am telling you right now that all ladies are women but not all women are ladies. Being a lady is far from being a common salutation and as a gentleman in progress, you must learn to use the title sparingly.
I try to look at everyone and understand them for the individuals that they are. We may all come from different backgrounds and yet there are common traits that we may share with other people. Based on firsthand experiences, observation and several accounts here are a few attributes (incomplete) of a lady:
- A lady does not compare herself with others.
- A lady is not envious of other people’s success.
- A lady carries herself with dignity and class.
- A lady chooses her words carefully and refrains from using profanities.
- A lady does not reveal too much of her assets to the public.
- A lady knows when she is wrong and apologizes for her mistakes.
- A lady says “please” and “thank you.”
- A lady does not twist words of other people and takes it out of context for her own benefit.
- A lady does not nag.
- A lady does not go after men nor will she provoke men to go after her. She is attractive without being inappropriate.
- A lady treats people with respect.
- A lady knows when to keep her silence.
- A lady will choose to be with only one man (at a time).
The list goes on. What’s amazing is she is all that and more with no effort at all. But now comes the best part, my boy, so you better listen. You can tell a lady favors you if:
- She gives you special attention.
- She respects you and your family.
- She cares for you and the welfare of those that matter to you.
- She confides with you and does not keep secrets from you.
- She invest time and effort just to see you.
- She goes the extra mile to do some things for you.
- She includes you in her plans.
- She initiates a personal or a professional project with you.
- She informs you of her whereabouts and who she is with.
- She empowers and inspires you to work on your passion.
- She believes in you, sees a grander vision of you and pushes you forward.
- She trusts you.
- She honestly cuts off and further advances of other men and let’s you know about it.
- She (actually) tells you she loves you.
Having someone like this is as rare as a 100-carat diamond. If you find yourself a lady or you already did, you know your old man is happy for you. Reciprocate, remain faithful and you two would last forever.